"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." -Kahlil Gabran

"Coming into the Heart"

"True Healing is the willingness to treat yourself and others better than the past ever did."

-Matt Kahn

How do we find times of comfort and peace while in a Dark Night of the Soul? Finding comfort when you are experiencing a dark night is possible. It may not seem like it, when you are really in it, but it is possible. I can tell you this from my own experience and how I have learned to find times of peace in my dark night of the soul. During the hardest periods in my dark night of the soul, I felt like I was cracked open. I was so raw with emotions and feelings that I never imagined were possible to experience. I felt like my whole world was falling apart, like I was dying, and I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore. For a long time, I did not feel connected to anyone, and I felt like I wasn't really here anymore. I carried so much grief and shame, my body was hurting with emotional pain everyday. Depression would take over and I would spend every day crying on my bathroom floor. Crying like I have never cried before, on my knees begging for it to go away. I didn't recognize myself when I looked in the mirror most days. I didn't want to be seen and I wished I could just disappear. I felt like I was in mourning, and overcome with self hate, fear, shame, unworthiness, guilt and regret. I couldn't believe how much self hate was coming up. I had no idea where all of this self hate was coming from and wondered why I felt this way. And every little mistake I made in my past, my regrets, things I wished I never did, all of it was coming up for me to feel. My childhood and traumatic past events all were brought to the surface. I was feeling it all. I didn't think I could do it, I didn't think I could ever get through it. I didn't think I would ever feel joy, or peace, or love again. I had lost my connection to the spiritual realm as well. I couldn't feel anything accept this emptiness and overwhelming grief. But I have made it through the hardest parts and now I am here to share what I have learned in my experience.

"The Dark Night of the Soul is not merely having a bad day or even week. The Dark Night is a long pervasive and very dark experience. If you're experiencing the Dark Night of the Soul, you will constantly carry around within you a sense of being lost. Your heart will always in some shape or form, be in mourning, and this is because you long, deep down, to feel the presence of your soul again."

-Aletheia Luna

The first thing I recommend is to have a mantra you can repeat to yourself daily. Having a mantra is very helpful. My mantra is "I CAN DO THIS!" Especially since I used to repeatedly tell myself "I can't do this". I had to start telling myself " I can do this, I am doing this" and it helped. It brought me into awareness and I was able to see everything that I am doing and have been doing. I still use this mantra every day. I still have days that I struggle, I am still in my dark night, but it's a hell of a lot easier!

My next recommendation is to find someone to talk to. A spiritual counselor, a mentor, someone who is on the spiritual path and has had their own experience to share. Someone who can hold a safe space for you, listen, and support you through this incredibly difficult journey.

Allow yourself to feel the feelings you are feeling. Don't resist it. Let it all out, let it pour out. Cry, scream, move your body, do what you need to do to release these emotions. And love on yourself. Hug yourself, tell yourself "you are safe, you are loved, everything is going to be okay". Talk to that wounded part of you that is hurting with kindness and compassion. It is all asking for love, even though it feels terrible. In these times, at the beginning, I would be so hard on myself, I was not able to give myself the love my inner child was asking for. I did not know how to. And I wasn't comfortable doing any of it at the beginning. Now I hug myself all the time, even when I am walking outside... I don't care anymore if anyone sees me. And I love that feeling!!

If you have a pet, take advantage of your pet and it's unconditional love. Keep your fur baby close by :)

Also I have found that writing down what I am feeling feels good. It is another way to release it and sometimes when you are writing, wisdom can emerge. A lot of times my higher self comes through in my writing. Also bringing yourself into the present moment and doing something that will bring you joy. Even if it is the smallest thing, do it. Whether it's writing, doodling, listening to your favorite music, making a delicious cup of tea, snuggling under a blanket with a loved one, or sitting outside in the sun. Also connection is important, if you have someone near by, ask for a hug.

Spending time outside is important. Put your bare feet on the ground! You can walk around in the grass, sit or lay in it. Do what feels good and connect to the earth. Getting sunlight is also important. Early morning sunlight is best and can boost your mood, increase sleep quality, increase energy level and combat fatigue. Walks in nature are extremely helpful as well. Every day if you can, and touch or hug trees!! Trees are wise and can enhance your mood and emotional well being.

I have also found reiki to be something that has helped me tremendously. If it is something you can do, I highly recommend it. I also recommend warm baths with essential oils and epsom salt.

Listening to an audiobook or video of a spiritual teacher that carries a high frequency, like Eckhart Tolle or Matt Kahn has been something I do daily. Listening to someone who holds a high frequency can increase your own frequency. And also the practices and teachings they offer can be very valuable. I love listening to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and Matt Kahn's books are fabulous.

Another practice I have recently started doing daily is blessing someone or even something with love. I have found doing this, opens my heart, even if its just a little bit, it's better than my heart staying closed. I bless my neighbors with love, friends, and family. I also bless my glass of water with love. In the early stages of my dark night when I couldn't feel love, I blessed my glass of water with love. And just doing that made me feel gratitude for the water in my glass. I have come to learn that blessings of love are special :) You can also bless everyone in the world and I have found this practice to truly open up my heart. How I do it is: I stop and close my eyes. I bring my awareness into my heart space. I breathe into my heart, focusing on my heart. I then say to myself "I send love to everyone in the world." I keep breathing into my heart, focusing on my heart center and repeat this and sit silently for a little bit. It really is a beautiful practice.

"When you can bless someone else while you're going through your own storm, you've done love."

-unknown

Trust the process. I know it is hard and unbearable at times. Try not to resist it and know that everything is in divine order. Keep in mind that when you are feeling and releasing all of these difficult emotions, you are actually making more room in your body to hold more joy, peace, and love. And practice self forgiveness and self love. This is the journey, learning what forgiveness really is and how to love yourself. Forgiveness is loving yourself. Forgiveness is coming into the present moment and having unconditional love for yourself. Forgiveness is knowing that you never did anything wrong. Eckhart Tolle says "Realize deeply that nothing you ever did or that was ever done to you could touch even in the slightest the radiant essence of who you are."

Heart Chakra Affirmations

-I love myself.

-I forgive myself.

-Forgiveness sets me free.

-I am a child of the universe.

-the universe loves me.

-I forgive everyone

-I send love to their heart

"Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor."

-Marianne Williamson